frustration

Usually our blog is very upbeat and not very sappy, but i'm having a sappy kinda day. i don't understand Christ a lot. there's a mystery there that is so intriguing to me, but sometimes it is very frustrating to not know everything. part of that mystery is God's timing. i know deep down that God knows what's best for me and for our family, but i also have a human will that i wish i could just turn off and on when i want it that way. all at that same time, it seems that what you want, everyone else has, and that you are the only one that doesn't have it. it's not true, it's just extrememly frustrating. i get frustrated with myself for not trusting and having enough faith to put the whole situation in God's hands; i get frustrated with other people who get what i want, and i want to be excited for them, but it is very hard. i also get frustrated with my jealousy and bitterness. i know these are wrong, but it's so hard not to be. i have such a hard time trying to figure out what i need to do and where i go for the comfort that is needed. i'm sorry that this is so depressing, it's just everything that's on my mind right now. SO, i do need to get back to work. if you think about it, just pray that i would have contentment and in that contentment, trust that God DOES know what He's doing, because i know He does. also pray that God would give me the desires of my heart and line up His desires with mine, becuase ultimately, His are all that matter. thanks.

what a weird world

i found this on brian denker's blog (aka: pookie's blog:)) and was amazed at how everything would turn out. it's a pretty cool video so if you have about 5 extra minutes today, you should look at it. it's pretty rad. it's entitled "if there were only 100 people on earth".

st. louis

as many of you know, we went to st. louis for our anniversary. we saw a lot of things, from sumo wrestlers (long story) to the budweiser brewery and the botanical gardens. that's what most of these pictures are from. i guess i'll tell you about the sumo wrestlers, since this is a blog and all :)
at the botanical gardens, we lucked out and found out that they were having a japanese festival throughout labor day weekend. so you paid $20 and got to see all the exhibits and arts and crafts and everything. well, one of the exhibits happened to be sumo wrestling. we actually watched it for about 15 minutes, then thought that we had had enough and that we were a little grossed out. this picture is the big guy. we have several more that i might post later, but, trust me, it's a lot to take in all at one time. hehe. anyway, hope you enjoy the pictures as much as we do!

work and other stuff

well, i'm at a weird spot right now. i started a new job about a month ago. i'm pretty caught up on all paper work. so, what is there left to do when 6 out of 9 girls are gone (5 of which are the other full-time employees) and i'm still learning?!?! it's such a weird feeling and also kinda liberating. anyway, i'm looking forward to tomorrow because i have many home visits and i love meeting my new little kids. i hope a couple of them are babies. we'll see.
on another note, ben and i had a wonderful time in st. louis! we recommend going to anyone who needs to get away for the weekend. there are so many little nooks and cool little spots. we didn't even go downtown and we had a great time. not to mention, we got to see sumo wrestlers perform! bet you weren't expecting that! anyway, we had a blast. i haven't downloaded any of my pictures yet, but once i do, you will definately see them. not much else is going on with us. we hope everyone is doing well and would love to see you soon! come visit us!
p.s. if you want to see a great video, go to my ethan and kristen's blog, and watch the ok go video. they will be on tour with death cab for cutie later this fall. that would be a fun show.